


Sorry, you're how old?!?

by ASmallVoice



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Civil War Team Iron Man, Panic Attacks, Peter Parker is Trying His Best, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark is Good With Kids, peter parker is 14
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:48:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23716972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ASmallVoice/pseuds/ASmallVoice
Summary: Tony has a realization when he goes to recruit Spider-man.
Comments: 15
Kudos: 375





	Sorry, you're how old?!?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [InkBlackFingers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkBlackFingers/gifts).



> Because Tony was on a tight schedule, and there must have been a reason that, of all vigilantes, even of just NYC vigilantes, Tony Stark picked Spider-man.
> 
> Based on this exchange between Tony and Rhodey during the Airport Battle after Peter calls Star Wars old.  
> Rhodey: Jesus. Tony, how old is this guy?  
> Tony: I don't know. I didn't carbon date him. He's on the young side!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or any dialogue you recognize.

Tony squashed down his discomfort as he made small talk with the spider’s relative, nonchalantly munching on some truly horrible tasting date bread as he waited for the kid to get home from class. The lady, May?, said he should be home soon.

Tony Stark had been looking into the small time hero for a while now, passively. He hadn’t really needed to know who the guy was or how to find him, but the desire was there. He had Friday tag all the videos that were posted on YouTube, and put the best quality video of each sighting on a playlist for when he needed a break from SI or Avengers work. One day, when he was bored, he even went so far as to figure out the kid’s approximate size and radius of coverage, which led to the clearly needed upgrade design, which led to him looking for more information to get the sizing right and try to figure out the kid’s powers and –what were those? Webs? How was he making those? Was it part of his powers? Were they, or could they be made artificially? There were so many applications for…

No. The man was doing good. And all his deeds were so innocent. Look, he’s doing flips and helping little old ladies home with their groceries. He didn’t deserve the shit-ton of crap that came with the big league super heroes. This guy was too… too good! To have to put up with their crap. And so, Tony held onto the upgraded suit, that was so much safer, and it had trackers, and safety mechanisms, and a UI that could potentially become an AI, and… Anyways, the suit could wait until he could find a way to get it to the man securely, nonchalantly, and anonymously.

It wasn’t until this morning, with the chaos that went down in Berlin and the desperate need for _non-violent_ reinforcements to take down his AWOL friends, that he felt a need to actually track the kid down. With Friday’s help combing through the hours of footage on the flight to New York to get the man, or at least his webbing, he was able to narrow it down to an apartment building in Queens that fit in the estimated radius. He went through the residents quickly and was able to narrow it to three people around the right height, but one was way too out of shape to be doing those flips. So, two people, both young. One male and one female. Tony wasn’t 100% sure he picked right, but the male had shorter hair by a long shot and it didn’t look like any stray hair was poking out from under the hoodie, falling out of a bun or ponytail…

Eh. It was whatever. He could try the girl next if it wasn’t the guy.

He landed at Avengers tower in New York right around 3:30 pm and decided to head straight over to the apartment, which… the building was very crowded and a little grungy, arriving at 4:00 because Happy was on top of it, hoping the kid would be home between classes. It was now going on 4:30 pm, and he was getting really jittery. Small talk was hard with his nerves already shot from the extremely long day. Hopefully, he could get some sleep on the flight back to Europe again. He ran through the list of who was already on board and what they were doing.

Rhodey and Friday were searching through footage to figure out where they went, but it was a lot to go through. Rhodey was also running interference with the Germans while Natasha was looking into the how and what of the Winter Soldier’s rampage in Berlin. Happy was waiting in the car, and was also in charge of making sure his jet was ready for take off again when they got there with a flight plan in place and equipment for his team and the suit. The new guy, Black Panther, was off with his people, hopefully getting his head on straight.

Yet, despite all that stress and worry, he was able to keep his media smile on for one Ms. May Parker, so she wouldn’t worry when he spirited away her son? Nephew? She was actually pretty pleasant to talk to, much better than the crowd he normally had to deal with, even though she was definitely talking up her kid, who apparently like robots and went scavenging for parts and still made really cool stuff? Damn, he had to get this kid out of the trash and into a lab. If he made those webs, then he would really be getting a September Foundation scholarship, rather than it just being an excuse.

Finally, (finally!), he heard the door open and a kid walked in with a “Hey Aunt May.” He wasn’t looking in their direction, preceding to drop his backpack by a chair and placed a, probably scavenged, wireless router on the table as the door shut behind him. Following the momentum towards the kitchen, the kid fiddled with his keys and phone, probably to turn his music off.

“Oh, hey!” Ms. Parker said. “How was school today?” She added, a second later.

“S’okay.” The teen, for he definitely was a teen and not older, said, white apple earphones still in. “There’s this crazy car parked outside.” He started and then froze as he looked up to see the two of them on the couch.

Showtime.

“Oh, Mr. Parker.” Tony said, his media suaveness still on display to woe and awe him. The kid looked like a deer in headlights as he took him in.

“Umm.” Mr. Parker said elegantly. Tony could see May giving Peter a facial cue in the corner of his eye. He took out the earbuds. “Wha—What’re you do—Hey, I’m Peter.” Peter finally settled on, crossing his arms uneasily.

“Tony.”

“What’re you—What’re you—What’re you doing here?” He stuttered.

“It’s about time we met.” Tony continued, as if this was not super weird for Peter to come home to. “You’ve been getting my emails, right?” He winked his non-black eye at him.

“Yeah. Yeah.” The kid said, picking up the thread. “Regarding the…” He led.

“You didn’t even tell me about the grant.” Ms. Parker said.

“About the grant.” Peter grabbed onto it with a hand indicating his Aunt, looking to Tony like ‘that’s right. I know what that is,’ written on his face but his eyes asking for some more details.

“September Foundation.” Tony filled in.

“Right.”

“Yeah. Remember when you applied.” Tony continued.

“Yeah.” Peter said.

May went to say something but Tony got there first. “Well, I approved. So now we’re in business.” He loaded ‘just go with it’ into his body language.

“You didn’t tell me anything. What’s up with that?” May scolded as much as asked. “You’re keeping secrets from me, now?”

Peter started talking over her. “Well, I just, I just know how much you love surprises so I just thought I would let you know... Wh…” He paused rocking back and forth slightly as if it was making him look any more innocent. “Anyway, what did I apply for?” He started to Tony.

Tony started over his last few words “That’s what I’m here to hash out.”

“Ok. Ok.” He was nodding nervously. “Hash, hash it out, okay?”

“It’s so hard for me to believe that she’s someone’s aunt.” Tony deflected, loading on the charm.

“Yeah, well, we come in all shapes and sizes, you know?” May said.

“This walnut date loaf is exceptional.” He continued, even though he wanted to gag on it.

“Let me just stop you there.” Peter said, before he could lay it on any more.

“Yeah?”

“Is this, grant, like got money involved or whatever? No?” He asked, clearly recovered a bit from the shock of meeting Tony Stark and starting to think.

“Yeah, it’s pretty well funded.” Tony hedged. Peter got a ‘yeah?’ in the middle there.

“Wow.”

“Look who you’re talking to.” Tony said. “Can I have five minutes with him?” He asked May.

“Sure.” She said.

Tony followed Peter into his room, closing the door behind him.

“As walnut bake loaves go, that wasn’t bad.” Tony said. “Oh!” He noticed the tech on Peter’s desk and immediately went for it, curiosity getting away from him as his fingers got that itch. “What do we have here, retro tech, huh? Thrift store? Salvation army?”

“Uhh. The garbage actually.” Tony felt some surprise at that, but he built the first iron man suit from scraps, so who was he to judge? Still…

“You’re a dumpster diver.”

“Yeah, I was…. Anyway, look. Umm. I definitely did not apply for your grant.” Peter said, and was going to go on into what no doubt was some form of babble and question but Tony interrupted, pulling out his phone of which he had a couple of the best spiderling videos lined up.

“Uh, uh. Me first.” He said.

“Okay.” Peter said, and Tony could hear the ‘but’ even as he kept going, bringing his phone to a spot where Peter couldn’t _not_ look.

“Quick question of the rhetorical variety.” He said, playing the video, not letting any of his actual doubt leave his body. “That’s you, right?”

“Um, no. What do you. What do you…” Peter denied.

“Mm-hmm.” Tony said, looking around his room for a hidey-hole. He doubted May Parker knew what the kid got up to in the evening.

“That’s all- That’s all on Youtube though, right.” Peter continued digging his hole. “I mean, that’s where you found it. Cause’ you know that’s all fake. It’s all done on a computer?”

“Mm-hmm” There. The ceiling tile was off a bit in the closet. It could be nothing, but…

“It’s like that video that records…” Peter trailed off and Tony could sense him trying to see what he was doing. That was no good. He needed to keep Peter talking.

“Yea yea yea yea…. Oh, you mean like those UFOS over Phoenix?” He bs-ed, glancing at the surroundings for something long and stick like. He grabbed a cylinder poster tube.

“Exactly!” Peter said, excitedly, only to leap in front of Tony when he poked the tile and a suit fell down.

“What have we here?” Tony asked, amused despite himself.

“Uh… That’s a…” The kid’s eyes darting around, looking for inspiration around the room.

“So. You’re this… Spider… ling. Crime fighting Spider… You’re Spider-Boy?” The last one sounded like a reasonable name.

“S… Spider-Man.”

“Not in that onesie, you’re not.” Tony shot back immediately, even as his mind clinked that something was wrong about that statement. Peter sputtered as Tony’s mind started whirring, trying to figure out what he was missing. “Who else knows? Anybody?” It wasn’t right that a kid barely out of high school would do this…

“Nobody.” Peter’s answer came as if down a long tunnel.

“Not even your… unusually attractive Aunt?” Tony asked, the question sounding faint.

“No. No, no. No, nope. If she knew, she would freak out. And when she freaks out, I freak out.”

Change the subject. Change the subject. “You know what I think is really cool?” Tony started with a distracting banter. He was suddenly really uneasy about the idea of bringing Peter to Germany, but he still… “This webbing.” He brought a pic of the webbing sample he’d manage to get. “Tensile strength is off the charts. Who manufactured them?”

“I did.” Peter said.

What was it? “Climbing the walls. How are you doing that? Cohesive gloves?” Tony snatched the jammies from where they were hanging.

“It’s a long story. I was… uh…”

Tony held the googles up to his eyes. They looked cool, but were almost foggy. “Lordy! Can you even see in these?” Peter snatched the suit from him and walked past to the bed.

“Yes. Yes, I can! I can-I can see in those. Okay?” Suddenly, it hit him. What he was missing. It hit hard, and he prayed he was wrong. Peter’s rant was still going on and he could was still taking in the information in, but not really processing it. “It’s just that… when… whatever happened happened. It’s like my senses have been dialed to 11. There’s way too much-”

“How old are you?” Tony cut him off, as he looked, really looked at the Spiderling for the first time.

“Me. Um. Old. Uhh. 14.” Peter answered.

“Fourteen.” Tony felt all his breath whoosh out of him. “Fourteen. That’s…. you’re…” He slid down the wall, and put his hand to his head. What was he—what was he—shit. This was bad. Very bad. 14. That was. He had been 15 in college and the bad decisions… If Rhodey hadn’t… If shit went down like he thought it might… They could… Rogers might… But surely he wouldn’t… But Bucharest… and Berlin…

There was a hand on a shoulder. Someone was trying to talk to him, but it didn’t quite infiltrate the buzz.

A kid, Normal kid… normal 14… was that… could that be… was he even in high school?? And if he was so… shit. Shit shit shit shit shit.

“Tony.” Broke through the fog. That was…. Happy’s voice. Happy. “-ed -ou breathe. Breathe ‘ony. Breathe.”

“Happy.” Tony barely managed to breathe out the name. Who knows if anyone even heard. 14. Spider was just a… Spider-kid. Fuck.

It took several minutes for the fog to clear and Happy’s breathing exercise to infiltrate. As he came back to himself, he found himself staring into the face of his friend.

“C’mon, Tony. Breathe.” Happy said. “In…and out. In… and out.” Tony started following the pattern. “Oh, thank god.”

“Wha- What happened?” Tony asked.

“I’m sorry!” A voice cried out in rather shrill tone. Tony flinched, but looked around Happy to see Peter and May watching. Peter’s eyes were filled with tears. Tony didn’t know if he had the energy to deal with this right now, but knew he had to try because Peter… god… just a kid. Tony took a deep breath. Peter flinched, and he saw Happy giving him a dirty look.

“No Hap, kid, s’not your fault. Just been a long,” He ran a hand over his face, regaining his composure. “Long few days. Oh, god.” The last part was said to himself. He sat back against the wall and took a few more deep breaths. “Ok. Ok, this is… okay. Alright, uh May. Ms. Parker. I’m sorry. I didn’t really do enough research before coming here. I was in a bit of a, bit of a rush. God. Alright. Yeah.”

May looked at Tony and then glanced at Peter. The kid looked like he wanted to sink into the carpet when Tony looked at him again. He was switching between a guilty face and a pleading face while looking between his aunt and Tony. Tony felt a little bad, but he had to do this. Or didn’t have to, but if he didn’t, anything that happened would… would be on him.

“Okay. Ms. Parker. I came here for two reasons. One, yes, the September Foundation is real and yes, Peter definitely qualifies and should receive the grant, I’m not discounting that. You should, you should sit down for the other one.” Peter nervously shifted and took several steps away from May, knowing what was coming next.

“The other reason I came here, and the reason I found Peter now rather than later because I definitely would have come across you later kid, you’re a fuc- a genius. Better than I am, truly. Ms. Parker, your nephew is Spider-man.”

“Spider-what?” May asked.

“Spider… He’s a spiderling. He’s a hero. But small time! Mostly, he likes rescuing kittens and such. This, this doesn’t make it much better, but I thought he was at least 18. I’m sorry, kid. This sucks, but you’re a minor, and your Aunt, your guardian needs to know what you’re doing in your free time.” He ran a hand over his head again. “I didn’t tell you earlier because it was clear he hadn’t told you, and I thought he was old enough to decide that for himself. I didn’t want to, but, kid, are you even in high school yet?” Peter opened his mouth, but Tony held up a hand. “Nope. I don’t want to know the answer.”

He got to his feet, swaying a bit. All three people in the room moved forward to steady him. Peter and May aborted, and laughed the same nervous laugh, which frankly made Tony feel even more his mistake.

“Look. I’m, I’m really sorry. I should have looked more into it before coming here. I… September Foundation offer is real. I’ll, I can come back another time if you’re still, if you’re interested. Hap, let’s go.” He twirled his hand and followed Happy towards the door.

“Wait!” He heard behind him when he was passing the couch. Tony and Happy stopped. Happy glanced back, but Tony just listened. “Wait, Mr. Stark. You, you said you came here for for Spider-man just as much as the Foundation. Wh-Why did you want Spider-man?” Tony sighed, and turned back to face the kid who had run out of his room after him. “The main reason was your M.O., kid.” He admitted. “Those webs you have, especially. I want to take someone down as non-violently as possible, and, well, the strength of those webs is off the charts and they last for hours. And the acrobatics.” He shook his head. “But I can’t, in good conscience, take a kid into a fight. Maybe in a few years, and with a lot more training. Because anything happens to you, and I feel that’s on me.”

“Is that something you could do?” May asked. Her arms were crossed, and she clearly hadn’t fully processed it yet, but she seemed to get enough to think straight. “The training, I mean.”

“Uh. Yea. Yea. I can… I can get in touch with you about it. When this, when the current crisis is over. We can, I can make a schedule. Kid, you need a complete upgrade. Just… stay home for a bit. Okay?”

“Oh, umm. Okay.” Peter said, a bit despondently. “My webs!” He said. “I can,” he turned to go back into his room and almost crashed into his aunt. She raised an eyebrow at him. “Sorry, excuse me May!” She took a step to the left and let him by. He went in, and Tony could hear drawers opening and closing and the sound of velcro as Peter grabbed some things. “Here!” He said, running out. He had a bracelet type thing and two vials of what must his webs, but were in a fluid form and held them out to Tony, before hesitating and jerking back a bit. “Umm. I probably shouldn’t just…” Peter glanced around, then grabbed a pen and paper, scribbling it when no ink came out and grabbing another. He wrote something out twice and shoved it at Tony. “You can have my webs, for what you need them for, (I have homework anyways), but sign this. Because they’re umm proprietary content!” He said.

Tony gave him a slightly incredulous and impressed look, surprised despite himself. He slowly reached out and took the paper, reading over it and the copy. It said “I, the undersigned ___________ hereby agree to borrow the web fluid and solvent, and web shooter designed by Peter B. Parker for good and understanding that the rights to the web formula, web solvent, and web shooter belong to Peter B. Parker, and I will pay a fee if I use them for profit.” It was fair, and honestly pretty well done for a young teen. Tony smiled, and printed his name on both pages following it up with his signature. Peter signed as well, then got Happy and May to sign as witness and guardian respectively.

Peter handed over the web fluid, and then proceeded to show Tony how to use the web shooter. It was a little small on Tony, but it worked, and he felt a weight off his back to now have some sort of secret weapon against Captain America.

“Thanks kid.” Tony said, in a soft voice. A little louder, he cleared his throat and added, putting some of his bravado back into his voice, “I’ll be in touch.” He nodded to May and Peter, and then followed Happy out the door.

Maybe Peter Parker could have turned the tide of the battle and helped them win. But, if Steve’s actions so far this too long day were any indicator, then the Spiderling had an equal or greater chance of ending up injured, possibly severely, if things went South. And that… that would have been on him.


End file.
